This lasted a while, and I just kept holding her and talking gently to her. Sex “I don’t know.” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “Even when I’m calm, when I can ignore our…our whatever, our past… but…”
She sobbed again, and squeezed her arms around me. She liked a few quick, short thrusts followed by one or two long strokes. She chose to hurt me all those years because she was in pain. I smiled realising that now I was the one that was confused. I could do this. Kept me up at night thinking about it. Allowing myself that final release calmed me down a little, but I still had to hear what she was thinking. Allowing myself that final release calmed me down a little, but I still had to hear what she was thinking. “I think that’s the hardest part. A relationship.” she said. She’d said my name earlier, I realised. “Even when I’m calm, when I can ignore our…our whatever, our past… In an instant, the warm glow of affection I’d felt darkened and turned back into malice. If I started threatening to show off your pictures, or if I used violence to make you do something you didn’t want to…
