The structure was diffucult to read. work on your structuring and this could be a very good story.BigDoug35Report 2011-02-07 12:11:11Your structure is sloppy. Porn sex There were several technical errors. There were several technical errors. I suggest paragraphs, and better dialogue structuring could help the readed wuite a bit. Also if she was drugged shouldn’t she be feeling a little drowsy and disorientated, not “oh wow I’m naked and there a man next to me, hey mister!!!”anonymous readerReport 2012-02-11 22:59:41pYxkEG As I have expected, the writer blurted out..!anonymous readerReport 2011-02-21 17:34:48Sloppy. work on your structuring and this could be a very good story.BigDoug35Report 2011-02-07 12:11:11Your structure is sloppy. You need some paragraphs and more story flow.anonymous readerReport 2011-02-04 20:35:16Not much dialoge. . . . . . …«1» You need some paragraphs and more story flow.anonymous readerReport 2011-02-04 20:35:16Not much dialoge. . . . . . …«1» I suggest paragraphs, and better dialogue structuring could help the readed wuite a bit. There were several technical errors. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. I suggest paragraphs, and better dialogue structuring could help the readed wuite a bit. Also if she was drugged shouldn’t she be feeling a little drowsy and disorientated, not “oh wow I’m naked and there a man next to me, hey mister!!!”anonymous readerReport 2012-02-11 22:59:41pYxkEG As I have expected, the writer blurted out..!anonymous readerReport 2011-02-21 17:34:48Sloppy.
