She went round to flat number 3A, she knocked on the door, “Excuse me,” she said as a scruffy middle aged lady answered the door, “Are you an Internet Porn Troll?”
“A what?” she asked. “Stereotype, prejudice,” I muttered but I followed as she walked along peering at the Laptop with its Wifi read out displayed. Sex vedio “Oh sorry,” Julia apologised, “Only someone round here has been writing offensive comments on my husbands web page.”
“You want him next door, 5A,” she said, “There’s his car,” she said and pointed to a clapped out Reliant three wheeled van abandoned and propped up on bricks. “Better than watersports, less embarrassing than those double dildo pants less painful than those awful handcuffs we had to have sawn off when the lock broke,” she reminded me. “Show them the story you wrote Harold,” she said. “Go on in,” the woman suggested. “Might have,” he said. “He bloody did,” Harold said, “Bastard!”
“Of course it shattered,” she said, “Shards of glass everywhere, up his backside mainly.”
“Everywhere,” he said, “Blood and shit everywhere.”
“Sixteen pints of blood wasn’t it Harold?” she asked. If this is entertaiment to you, then you desserve to dy horibuly, painfuly and slowly.
