way to much boring stuff and way to rushed what happened here in one day should be spread out over months. Sex the plot holes are big enough to drive a semi through.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-09 15:19:16That was a pretty good story, but poorly formatted. 49 comments«12345»anonymous readerReport 2013-01-24 15:32:59needs a major rewrite the paragraphs started good but got way to long at the end. learn about dialog and paragraphs. learn about dialog and paragraphs. learn about dialog and paragraphs. learn about dialog and paragraphs. way to much boring stuff and way to rushed what happened here in one day should be spread out over months. why did was she ok with fucking her brother seems she accepted it way to fast why was she being nice to him in the past when she wasn’t before. the plot holes are big enough to drive a semi through.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-09 15:19:16That was a pretty good story, but poorly formatted. way to much boring stuff and way to rushed what happened here in one day should be spread out over months. the plot holes are big enough to drive a semi through.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-09 15:19:16That was a pretty good story, but poorly formatted. why did was she ok with fucking her brother seems she accepted it way to fast why was she being nice to him in the past when
