I wanted to run away with him forever and marry him, but Paul had told me more than once that that would have to wait, too. So he sped up his tongue over my clit, and I raised my hips to the faucet, and in my mind it was one of his fingers slowly pushing into me. Sex And all the while he was beating me, he was screaming at me that I was worthless and stupid, that he hated me, that he was going to make me pay…after a while, I couldn’t even understand what he was screaming. I lay in the bathtub as the water gushed over my clit, and I imagined it was his tongue—obedient, unfailing—hoping that, if he got me hot enough, I would let him have me. That night was one of those things. “Not yet, you little tease,” he said in a low voice, “I promise you’ll get what you want later. And I felt that pulse-like beat start in my clit in time to the fall of the water, in time with his tongue. He could have me now, I thought…if only I was older; if only we were far, far away… I let the water run over me as I lazily dreamt of what I would do with him the first time, when he was
