Because nothing else is raising the stakes. Romeo and Juliet would be a legend. Sex Make problems from those flaws. Part 1″ by LordofallSex
“My sis is irresistable!” by HornyHornyHippo
“Sharing My Room With Sis” by HardandSoft
“She is the One” cited earlier
Up until this point all cites were either praises or mean-spirited constructive criticism, so let’s switch gears and drop a nuke – if you want to really find out how not to write a porn story, look no further than undercoverman1’s I’m Hot for my Older Sister. Some people want casual sex, sure, but even then it’s usually with people they already know, and huge point, it’s a *gradual process*. By all means, brag about how that was your freshman year (or maybe ‘brag’ about it while secretly trying to reaffirm your masculinity and hide the fact that you actually lost your virginity at 22+ like a surprisingly high number of people) but this doesn’t happen to anybody but a very low number of people, even lower in freshman year. In every other way it’s unremarkable (it showcases how punctuation can make your story silly among other things) but I have to say, for a stroke story it doesn’t status play really well.
