just work on your story line, and try to describe actual detail, not the events, just the detail.READERReport 2007-10-22 09:20:01That was shit.READERReport 2007-10-21 17:07:29I just re read it and i agree it is fucking shit, i dont know what the fuck i was thinking when i wrote this. 8 comments«12»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-13 20:54:13hot-u should right more, but have just all lesbians squirting in eachthers mouthsREADERReport 2008-02-07 01:27:38it’s a good idea bob, might help if you lengthened it a bit 🙂
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congratulations on your originality!READERReport 2007-10-22 18:05:25hmm. … 8 comments«12»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-13 20:54:13hot-u should right more, but have just all lesbians squirting in eachthers mouthsREADERReport 2008-02-07 01:27:38it’s a good idea bob, might help if you lengthened it a bit 🙂
congratulations on your originality!READERReport 2007-10-22 18:05:25hmm. … 8 comments«12»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-13 20:54:13hot-u should right more, but have just all lesbians squirting in eachthers mouthsREADERReport 2008-02-07 01:27:38it’s a good idea bob, might help if you lengthened it a bit 🙂
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