I suggest paragraphs, and better dialogue structuring could help the readed wuite a bit. Also, shouldn’t there be a kind of lead-up to the whole kidnap thing because it is kind of a plonk in the middle of a street and get raped. Porn sex There were several technical errors. There were several technical errors. work on your structuring and this could be a very good story.BigDoug35Report 2011-02-07 12:11:11Your structure is sloppy. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. The structure was diffucult to read. I suggest paragraphs, and better dialogue structuring could help the readed wuite a bit. I suggest paragraphs, and better dialogue structuring could help the readed wuite a bit. Also if she was drugged shouldn’t she be feeling a little drowsy and disorientated, not “oh wow I’m naked and there a man next to me, hey mister!!!”anonymous readerReport 2012-02-11 22:59:41pYxkEG As I have expected, the writer blurted out..!anonymous readerReport 2011-02-21 17:34:48Sloppy. work on your structuring and this could be a very good story.BigDoug35Report 2011-02-07 12:11:11Your structure is sloppy. Also if she was drugged shouldn’t she be feeling a little drowsy and disorientated, not “oh wow I’m naked and there a man next to me, hey mister!!!”anonymous readerReport 2012-02-11 22:59:41pYxkEG As I have expected, the writer blurted out..!anonymous readerReport 2011-02-21 17:34:48Sloppy. 5 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2012-12-25 17:19:55Decent story, but there are several quite obvious spelling mistakes, the structure of
