3 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 17:58:03Stick with one POV. Porn vedio 3 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 17:58:03Stick with one POV. Break those paragraphs up so the eyes can rest. Three of them confuses the story and makes it hard to follow. 3 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 17:58:03Stick with one POV. 3 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 17:58:03Stick with one POV. Three of them confuses the story and makes it hard to follow. You have a certain ability but you try to be clever. Join a writing group and develop your talent.Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 04:01:23the switching of narrators is a bit hard to follow, but good storyvtsReport 2008-10-25 02:48:33more please, how about all three holes at once«1» Break those paragraphs up so the eyes can rest. You have a certain ability but you try to be clever. Join a writing group and develop your talent.Anonymous readerReport 2008-10-26 04:01:23the switching of narrators is a bit hard to follow, but good storyvtsReport 2008-10-25 02:48:33more please, how about all three holes at once«1» Three of them confuses the story and makes it hard to follow. You have a certain ability but you try to be clever.
