18 comments«1234»Anonymous readerReport 2016-03-21 14:09:50It was a good start but you really need to finish the story before you submit it.Anonymous readerReport 2013-12-26 18:50:27another crappy chapter that FAILS to give proper background or character development. Porn sex 18 comments«1234»Anonymous readerReport 2016-03-21 14:09:50It was a good start but you really need to finish the story before you submit it.Anonymous readerReport 2013-12-26 18:50:27another crappy chapter that FAILS to give proper background or character development. WHERES ALL THE BACKGROUND?? AS IS THIS SUCKS BIG TIME AND NEEDS A TOTAL REWRITE AFTER DELETING THE ORIGINALS.anonymous readerReport 2013-01-14 14:22:57once again you totally ruined it by rushing the action. give back your high school diploma ( if you ever got one ) you don’t deserve it.anonymous readerReport 2013-07-19 21:40:31since you were taught to speak and write in german WHY THE HELL ARE YOU POSTING IN ENGLISH? this needs major rewriting by a GOOD WRITER that knows enough to PROOFREAD and use a GOOD EDITOR before posting. this needs major rewriting by a GOOD WRITER that knows enough to PROOFREAD and use a GOOD EDITOR before posting. these two chapters are nothing more than a story OUTLINE it is not a POSTABLE STORY. this needs major rewriting by a GOOD WRITER that knows enough to PROOFREAD and use a GOOD EDITOR before posting.
