A spell check run would have caught many errors. Sex There was no flow to the story. It felt like you were just listing everything that happened. With not much detail. With not much detail. Also, think about continuity and having even a fantasy make sense.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-25 21:42:31Pretty great story. Def would have hurt you.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-26 06:07:11Please proof your story. Also, think about continuity and having even a fantasy make sense.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-25 21:42:31Pretty great story. Def would have hurt you.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-26 06:07:11Please proof your story. But still like I said, a great story 10/10«1» Also, think about continuity and having even a fantasy make sense.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-25 21:42:31Pretty great story. And I agree with the other comment about being a virgin thing. Detail matters. Def would have hurt you.Anonymous readerReport 2010-06-26 06:07:11Please proof your story. 3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2010-09-06 11:10:21It would have been an alright story line if u knew how to write properly. But 1 thing is you said she was a virgin so no matter she would have felt pain when that guy rammed his dick in her pussy. But still like I said, a great story 10/10«1» It was a little short & didn’t have much detail but all around a great story.
